Divorce is never easy—emotionally, financially, or legally. But preparing properly can make a significant difference in the outcome and reduce unnecessary stress. Whether your separation is amicable or contentious, the early steps you take can shape the entire process. If you’re considering filing for divorce, taking the right actions upfront can safeguard your interests, protect your children, and set the stage for a smoother transition.
In this article, we outline the top five most important things to do when preparing to file for divorce, offering practical advice to help you plan strategically and avoid costly mistakes.
1. Get a Clear Picture of Your Finances
One of the most critical aspects of any divorce is the division of assets and debts. Before filing, take the time to gather and organize all financial documents, including:
- Bank statements
- Credit card balances
- Tax returns (last 3 years)
- Mortgage and loan documents
- Investment accounts and retirement plans
- Pay stubs and employment contracts
Make copies of everything and store them securely. Understanding your financial picture will not only help your attorney advocate on your behalf, but it will also prevent surprises when it comes time to negotiate spousal support or property division.
2. Consult with a Family Law Attorney Early
Even if you’re just “thinking about divorce,” speaking with an experienced divorce attorney early on is essential. A good lawyer will help you understand your legal rights, what to expect during the divorce process, and how best to prepare.
Questions to ask your divorce attorney might include:
- What are my rights regarding custody and visitation?
- How is child support calculated in my state?
- What steps can I take now to protect my financial interests?
Early legal guidance ensures that you don’t unknowingly make decisions that could harm your case later—such as moving out of the family home or agreeing to verbal custody arrangements.
3. Start Documenting Everything
Divorce can be emotionally charged, especially when children or significant assets are involved. To protect yourself, begin keeping detailed records of all interactions and events that could affect your case.
This includes:
- Communication between you and your spouse (texts, emails, voicemails)
- Child custody arrangements and parenting schedules
- Any unusual or threatening behavior
- Financial decisions made without your input
Documentation becomes crucial when disputes arise over child custody, asset division, or spousal support. Courts value evidence over emotion.
4. Create a Plan for Custody and Living Arrangements
If you have children, their well-being should be your top priority. Start thinking through a potential custody and parenting plan that will work in their best interest. Courts typically favor arrangements that promote stability, continuity, and involvement from both parents—unless there are safety concerns.
You should also consider where each parent will live during and after the divorce. If possible, avoid making abrupt changes in the children’s living environment before a formal plan is in place. Moving out prematurely without legal guidance could weaken your position in custody discussions.
5. Protect Your Privacy and Emotional Well-Being
Divorce often brings feelings of grief, anger, and anxiety. As part of your preparation, make emotional self-care and digital privacy a priority.
- Change passwords on personal email, social media, bank accounts, and cloud storage
- Limit social media use and avoid posting about the divorce process
- Seek emotional support through counseling, support groups, or trusted friends
Remember, what you post online can be used as evidence in court. Be mindful, respectful, and strategic with your digital footprint. A level-headed and composed demeanor—both online and offline—can work to your advantage.
Preparing to file for divorce involves much more than completing paperwork. It’s about building a foundation that ensures your legal rights are protected, your children are prioritized, and your future is secure. By taking these five steps seriously—understanding your finances, getting legal counsel, documenting everything, planning for custody, and safeguarding your well-being—you’ll be better equipped for the road ahead.
If you’re considering divorce, the best next step is to schedule a consultation with a qualified family law attorney in your area. A skilled attorney, such as Rogers, Shea & Spanos, can guide you through the process with confidence and clarity.
